How I Spent My Week

If you've been wondering why you haven't gotten a reply to your email, well, I've been kinda busy.

Eighties Baby was back for a Basic Lockdown Overnight. We did a few setups, beginning with a straitjacket/leg sack sling spring suspension (that I forgot to get my camera out for). I stored him for the night in my MaxCITA suspendable, canvas Psycho Sleepsack. The straps were pulled tight, an external catheter was applied with the tubing fed through his CB-3000 with large points of intrigue. Ratchet straps kept him from squirming.



He was keen to try out my sensory deprivation hood, so in the morning, I let him spend some time in it while I sipped my morning tea.



The Collector came in for a round of masochism and leather bondage. First the bondage. His own custom ordered "SciFi Hood" and leather arm sleeves, plus a Stormy Leather corset. I tethered him to the suspension rig and did a lovely round of floggers and single tails on his back and ass.



Then it was over to the bondage bed for a shocking time below the waist and a stinging time above. The whip I'm using is my favorite of the Collector's: a short handled cat with several waxed string tails, each knotted in several places. It's vicious. As you can see here. (It's hard holding a camera and trying to aim, I tell ya!)

Next up was a client from the Midwest in town for the All-Star Game. If he were a masochist, I'd make a joke about being the lead off hitter. But he wanted bondage.


On Tuesday, one of my clients returned after spending five days in at-will chastity. This was a bit of an experiment for me as I've been considering taking chastity play off my menu as a scene offering after a recent experience. Fortunately, this client was able to remind me of why extended chastity play is fun.

Next was a new client, a bondage Houdini who found escape from my back binder combined with my Scott Paul spreader bar and cuffs hogtie combo an impossible dream. It didn't help? hurt? that I added the cruel condom to the mix. (Oh, I guess that would hurt.)

MB popped in for what I like to call a "drive by." Normally, we tend to do only OEs or overnights when we play, but this time we had only a couple of hours. So I strapped him down, shaved his genitals, and then commenced with the metal penetrations.




My next client arrived for his ONE (OverNight Experience)wearing a rakish cap and a charming smile. Eventually, he ended up quite helpless.



My next OE was a new client who'd told me he'd been feeling jaded about his pro sessions recently. I was game to refresh those feelings with lots of rope, an ass hook, and, later, a remote controlled vibrator under my control during dinner. I don't think he's all that jaded anymore.



And you know what's really great?! There's more to come!

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You

In my last post, I talked about how clients are often concerned that I play too heavy/hard for them. That I will give them more pain than they can handle. That I'm too sadistic.

That's not what you need to worry about.

What you need to prepare yourself for is that I will definitely get inside your head and quite possibly a vital organ slightly further south, if you're not careful. It's super intense. It's super challenging. And as long as you keep your wits about you -- as I do -- it can be a really amazing, rewarding experience.

(Un)Necessary Roughness: Too Hard or Too Soft?

(I meant to continue yesterday's post with some thoughts about my clients and heavy play but I couldn't quite seem to make the transitions work. Still can't. So. Uh. Zoom Zoom.)

Sometimes I get prospective clients who contact me fretting that, based on my MF Reviews or scene descriptions they've read on my blog, that I might play too heavy for them or might not enjoy playing with them because they can't take pain or marks or something.

Part of me, the less generous part, thinks this is just penis talk. "Ohh, you're so fierce, Mistress! I don't know if I can handle it! Wh-wh-what are you going to DO to me?!" Because, really, my Reviews rarely cover details and I would think any reasonable person would realize that the scenes I write about here are chosen for their intensity, creativity, and newsworthiness.

The other part of me gets it. No matter how experienced you are (and in some cases the more experienced you are the harder it is cause, well, you know what's out there), contacting a Mistress for the first time is scary. It's such a vulnerable introduction. And while I've never really been on the client end of the business, there've been a couple of occasions when I've had to make a blind introduction to a Mistress I admire and ... whew. Intimidating! There's this fear that you're not going to be good enough, or bothersome, or whatever. And I know I don't make it easy for you guys either cause I write all the time about how the bar's set pretty high as far as my expectations of the clients I choose to play with.

What's really interesting to me, though, are the guys who want to see me because they think I'm such a heavy player and then they get in my studio and suddenly it all seems too easy. I hope some of this is just a matter of intention: I think there are things that I do that, by another Domme would be far beyond what you could handle but because I try to create such an atmosphere of surrender what you thought was impossible is not only possible but in fact happening and it's pretty great.

Truth is, I'm kind of a softie. Forcing just isn't my style. I can take a beatdown, and I'm pretty strong, too, but I'm not going to physically overpower most men without their consent. And when it comes to corporal, the brutal sadism thing doesn't really work for me either. I can satisfy a masochist, for sure, but like, one guy said of me in a MF Review:

While I've been whipped harder (I'm sure she could do hard as well), but the mental state she got me into while whipping my ass and back was as close to a state of transcendental meditation as I had ever experienced. It's one of the few times I know I was deep into sub space.

Some of my clients will tell me, "Oh, I wish I could take more for you, be marked, so that you wouldn't have to hold back." Thing is, I like holding back. I love the self-restraint, the self-discipline. I especially love being able to get you to that place you wanna go and not leaving a mark on ya. Gawd, that's just so hot to me. It takes such skill to do that. Brutality? Feh. I'm a ballerina.

Necessary Roughness

Clients often ask me if I switch or bottom. It's weird to me how much of a stigma that carries in the realm of prodomination. So many men say they seek submission/surrender because they are so alpha/dominant/in control in their non-scene life, they seek a Dominant for balance. Why aren't ProDominas afforded the same concession? Truth is, I don't sub. I'm not good at it at all. I don't think there's submissive bone in my body. Even when I bottom for stuff -- primarily implement-driven corporal -- I'm really awful. "No, you can't tie me down." "You're putting too much attention on my right shoulder." "Vary the strokes a bit more." "Can you switch to the single tail now?" "No! Stop. Let me breathe for a minute."

I would hate topping me. (SS, SM, and MB: thank you for braving it.)

Lately, my preferred way to bottom has been for "hit by a Mack truck" drive-by beatdowns. I've done this twice: once at Black Rose, most recently at Shibaricon. In both cases I found the biggest, burliest guy I could find to initiate a surprise attack. Size is important: I gotta be able to fight back as hard as I can without worrying if I'll hurt the guy (I'm not trained in rough play so I don't really know how to attack safely.) I was flipped up, turned over, lifted by my elbow, thrown to the ground, bit, stomped on, tortured with pressure points, twisted, tossed, and once choked out to brief unconsciousness. Like a kinky rollercoaster ride. Evidently terrified some of the folks around me with all my screamin' and hollerin' but for me it was FUNNNN!

I don't get a sexual thrill, per se, from this rough play. It's more just a feeling of freefall and complete lack of control for that five or ten minutes. I love the challenge of seeing how much I can take. I love how strong I feel when it's over. Such adrenaline. RAWRRRR!

Ephemera

• At Restoration Hardware they're selling electric bug paddles for under $15. I almost bought a bouquet of them to pass out to all my Domme friends but then realized I'd have a helluva time transporting it on my bike.
• He stopped by to pick up a bag he'd inadvertently left after a party. My friend Mistress Crimson was with me at the studio. I sat him down and tied him, still dressed, to the chair and continued my conversation with Crimson while I singletailed his chest with my Coyote whip. Just 'cause I knew I could. That he would take it. He did.
• After my post on Max Fisch about mentoring by independent Dominas, I'm thinking about finally offering a public class on the business of professional domination. I've collected some really valuable advice over the years on how to manage my business. Kinda seems like information that's more useful in the long run than another class on how to throw a singletail. Any other suggestions on classes that I might want to think about teaching based on your knowledge of me?
• I'd dropped by L'Oeil Cache yesterday and spent some time chatting with my Domme friends there as they got ready for their sessions. It's been a long time since I've been in that environment. I didn't realize how much I missed it. And not just for the casual eddy of women in various states of deshabille, though that was a pleasure too.
• Will someone please get Miss Victoria X to post on her blog? I miss that li'l vixen's clawed wit.
• I love my bicycle.
  
• Why is it that at the Horses exhibit at the Museum of Natural History last Sunday, I was only interested in the whips, crops, and hardware? I even made a note to look up the "Buzkashi Riding Whip" and see if I could find one on Ebay.
  
• Been at a loss lately w/r/t blog post ideas. I'm taking requests. Muse, anyone?
  

I Wish This Were My Ad

This ad was found on Craig's List, of all places. I've been contemplating placing an ad on CL recently. Were I not such a pragmatist, this would be my ad.

My, how I love a man with a flair for the romantidramatic.

I've been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I'm 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I'm old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I'm willing to pay $350 up front for you services as an arch enemy over the next six months. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the BART and occasionaly whisper in my ear, "Ahha, we meet again". That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconsicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.

British accent preferred.

Mwahahahahaha. WANT!!!

Fireworks

He was strapped down firmly to the bondage table. Ratchet straps tight across his chest, abdomen, thighs and calves; a leather ring gag stretching his mouth in an open O. Above him, a naked woman suspended in rope, rigged to the tracking beam, her body parallel to his. Standing beside them, I slid the violet wand conductor into the bands along her thigh and handed her five short metal talons to put on her fingertips.

Slowly she used her claws, cat-like, and tracked herself up and down the length of his body, pressing her steel nails into his nipples, groin, legs, and feet. Sparks danced blue as the electricity sizzled between them. As he moaned, I tilted my head over his and let my saliva stream steadily into his mouth. Then I touched her -- hand, arm, breast, hip, chin -- and leaned forward to tease his lips with my shocking tongue. Rubbed my nose stingingly to his. Put my teeth to his nipple. Zzzzt.

I struck her reddened cheeks with the flogger, paddle, and cane. "Let him feel your pain," I told her. She smiled and reached for his nipples with her nails, alternating with a barest contact to focus the electric intensity and then digging her nails into his nipples. Her eyes sparkled. So did mine.